Diaries

Current Thoughts on Relationships

This girl I went to high school and college with just married her college boyfriend. Her first boyfriend in college.

One of my best friends had her heart broken by a shitty boy after a 4-year relationship.

Another one of my dear friends had a respectable breakup with her now ex-boyfriend.

Another married a guy she met through online dating.

Relationships stem from anywhere, anytime, and anything can happen. Seeing the relationships of the people around me work or not work… just makes me not want to be in a relationship. You might say I’m scared and I wouldn’t disagree, but I’ve been through a lot in my life and I know that when it feels right to be in a relationship, it’ll happen.

My list of traits that my ideal partner should have used to be at least 30 bullet points long. It included tall, funny, smart, thoughtful, an athlete, a musician, a dancer, driven in life, loved traveling, loved new things, loved food, good cook…

Nowadays I’ve narrowed it down to three traits:

  1. Trait #1: He must be taller than me. I’m 5’2”, so it cannot be that hard. I’d prefer it if he were taller than 5’5” so sometimes I can wear heels and not be taller than him.
    Story: I went on a date with a guy who was 2 inches shorter than me, and I was wearing sneakers. It took me by surprise because I couldn’t tell from his pictures (online dating can be deceiving)! It was really uncomfortable – not just because he was short, but also because he couldn’t stop staring at me like he couldn’t believe I was a real girl. First and last time I ever went on a date with a guy shorter than me. I never want to be the person looking down at someone physically!
  2. Trait #2: He is confident, not cocky. If you’re confident in who you are and what you’re doing in life, you won’t feel the need to rub your accomplishments in other people’s faces. If you’re cocky, not only are you really annoying to listen to, but you’re also probably insecure with something about yourself.
    Story: I was on a date with a New England guy who was a consultant and bragged about all the traveling he’s done. I watched his ego and head expand as he talked on and on about himself. He’s been to three American cities outside of Boston: Austin, Chicago, and New Orleans. I’m thinking, “Congratulations, and GTFO. I don’t know even know why you are so arrogant right now. I’m not a consultant and I’ve been to half of the US states and traveled internationally but you don’t see talking down to you.” Oh yeah, he talked down to me because I wasn’t a consultant. And then he tried to get me drunk so we could get physical. Mama knows what you’re doing, and I will show you what I’m made of – so I got all the free drinks and left him high and dry. Boy, bye.
  3. Trait #3: He needs to be able to hold a conversation. Be curious about the world and the people in it! I’m known to ask a lot of questions because I’m curious about how people think and why they do what they do.
    Story: I’ve been on two dates where my dates did not talk. They would watch me eat and say nothing. I would try to ask them questions in between bites and hoping that they would start talking and telling stories. Never happened. Never again. Way. Too. Awkward.

No matter who the other person may be, the most important relationship is one you have with yourself. If you truly love yourself, it gives you an added layer of confidence and natural sexiness, and that’s what I’m after. Do things for myself and not with the goal to impress other people, and you’ll be so much happier in life and it will show.

Do you guys have any awkward dating stories? I’d love to hear them!

-Juliet

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